The Best Smile in the World

Hello!

It's been ages since I last blogged, but its true what they say - sometimes life just gets in the way. And boy, a lot has happened since I did last blog!

One of the best things that has happened in the very long time since I last wrote on here is kind of a life changing decision. I'm still at university doing English and Journalism (although I graduate in September, eek!) and I still love the course. But at the end of second I knew something: I no longer wanted a career in journalism. I'm not ruthless, I'm not overly nosy and I'm certainly don't think working for free for the first three/four years of life after university is realistic (as many graduate journalists do). So, what could I do?

Well, I've always loved education. I love learning, I love being taught. And I love being able to teach people new things as well. Teaching. BINGO! Growing up I'd been told by teachers themselves I'd make a good teacher.

I'm patient. I'm calm. I'm passionate. I'm determined. Traits a teacher needs.

I decided I'd need to experience what teaching was like first-hand before I confirmed it was the career I wanted to do. Primary school was the type that appealed to me most; the children would be at the age where they're willing to learn and love learning without thinking they can talk back to the teacher and get away with it (sorry, but I still remember my secondary school days all too well!) I managed to get a volunteer placement at a primary school quicker than I had hoped for and they went above and beyond my expectations: I was offered an entire school year working there on a one-day-a-week basis!

I was made to feel welcome from the get-go and I'm now 9 months into my placement. I know already I'll be gutted when the summer holidays roll around because I'm going to miss working at the school so much. All the staff are so friendly and the class I help out in are amazing.

Its safe to say I definitely want to be a teacher! I'm up at first light and racing out the door on the mornings I teach, and I always come home beaming with the biggest smile on my face. Its an experience that has taught me so much, about myself as well as how to teach. I've gained a lot more confidence and competence in handling some of the tricker situations in the classroom, such a fights, tears and refusal to work. I've worked with children that find learning really difficult. I've been handed drawings, flowers and shouts of joy when I walk in the classroom.

The teacher whose class I'm in recently told me the students see me as an actual member of staff.

I can't decide what the best thing about teaching is.

Maybe it's the smiles and shouts of joy when I come in in the morning. Maybe it's the children's willingness to learn. Maybe it's because I finally feel like I've found a profession that truly suits me.

Or maybe its that slow smile of understanding as something you're explaining to a student finally makes sense to them. That's the best smile in the world.

Unfortunately, I didn't make it onto any 2016 courses for teacher training. But that is not going to stop me. I've already began a second placement at a behavioural secondary school. I wanted the experience in secondary education, to compare it to primary; and as even more of a challenge, working with kids that have been excluded from mainstream education was something I really wanted to tackle. I won't lie, those kids are daunting. But its extremely interesting seeing how those children and the staff interact, how they discipline them, how they manage to teach with very disruptive children. It's been a fantastic insight and I'll have another 11 weeks there too!

I'm pretty certain primary school teaching is still the type I want to do, but I'm going to spend my 'gap year' going to as many schools as possible and working with all students. Volunteering as a teacher is an experience that hopefully when I make it as a teacher, I'll always look back on with as big a grin as I'm wearing now.

That smile that something finally makes sense. It's the best smile in the world!

Little Princess

Hello again!

Now today I woke up this morning like any other day. I did normal day-to-day stuff and I also received some more books in the post ready for my second year at university. And it really got me thinking.

I'm really, really scared.

The future, my future, is something that - though I'm extremely excited to see what it will hold, and hopefully it holds everything I ever wanted - I absolutely dread. Because what if it doesn't? What if one little choice I make one day completely takes me away from the future I want? What if I've already made that choice. Yes, I am completely terrified.

As a little girl, as most little girls are, I was in love with the Disney Princess'. I adored them. I wanted to be one of them. I always wanted my Prince to appear out of nowhere one day; he'd see me on the street one day and he'd be so completely, instantly in love with me, and I with him. And then we'd get married and have children and live happily ever after and I'd never have to work (as a little girl 'work' meant education, as in I'd finish education at school, sixth form and then possibly university and that would be it). I'd be your typical stay-at-home wife, looking after the children and cooking and cleaning and in my little girl head that was the dream. And I couldn't have been more happy with it.

But looking back at it now, I can't help but realise how dreadfully unrealistic and fantasized that dream was. I'm already at university and I even have a job (sure its just a weekend thing, but little me never imagined it happening). And I'm going into second year at university. Which means this time in two years I will be graduating.

I am absolutely terrified.

Why am I terrified? Well, even though I know now my dream was just a childish fantasy, it's still ingrained in me, and so the thought of not having that really weighs me down; as a little girl I always knew where I wanted to go; I even had a rough idea of the ages events would happen!

Another scary factor is that though I really enjoy my English and Journalism course - and I honestly do, I wouldn't want to do any other course - I am now having a future job crisis. Do I want to be a radio presenter still? I love presenting, but I've also recently been told I'd be a good TV presenter/reporter or even, both in the past and present, a Year Two (primary school) teacher.

But I've also learnt some very important things:

- I'm in a relationship with an amazing guy, have been for a long time now, and I couldn't love him more. To me he is my Prince swooping into my life and making me feel like an absolute Princess! Plus I learned that to be a perfect couple, you have to have arguments, however stupid, just to realise how important you are to each other and no couple can be perfectly happy all the time (another ridiculous notion I had as a little girl; again that whole happily ever after stuff)
- Education-wise I've done school and sixth form and I'm proud of my results and now being at university (a fact I still can't quite believe) I feel like I'm going places, I feel kind of intelligent and seeing how proud I'm making my family makes it feel even more amazing.

But most importantly?

I may only have a rough idea of where I want my future to go. But that's alright because at the end of the day I'm only nineteen and looking at all I've achieved so far, I know I can get everything I wanted and hopefully even more. I won't let anything stand in the way of my dreams.

So I might be really, really scared. But I'm also really, really excited and determined. All of you should be too; your future is what you make it!

Till the next time,
                          Jess x

'The Fault In Our Stars' Book Review

Hello again, 

Today I want to review a very amazing book. Unless you've been holed up in your room for the past few months, alongside no phone or internet, you've probably heard about 'The Fault In Our Stars', a book by John Green.

It is after all a multi-million worldwide bestseller and has been turned into an equally successful film. 

So I'm sure most of you reading this have either read the book, watched the film or have done both. And after reading the book myself, I very much want to go see the film. 

Now I know my book review will probably just be a shout out into the void of other reviews for this book (yes, I did just alter that quote to fit) but here we go...

**MAY CONTAIN SPOILERS, CONTINUE ONLY IF YOU WISH**

Wow. That was the first word I said after I'd finished. I was literally speechless. Too my amazement I hadn't cried, despite the many warnings from people who I consulted on the book before reading, confirming I would most definitely burst into tears. I'm not sure if that's because my family and I have been through a situation like it but my overall impression of the book was one of inspiration. 

Yes, the book was heartbreaking but the love story of Hazel and Augustus (also known as Gus) was truly inspiring and quite frankly had me smiling for most of the book. 

Hazel and Gus are teenagers, both suffering with different types of cancer; Hazel's has left her reliant on oxygen tanks and she will never be anything but terminal. Gus' took his leg away, but it appears he is rid of it now.

But despite the terrible circumstances under which they meet, it's a love story that they really needed. I completely understood Hazel's pain at trying to just stay friend's with Gus, when she so clearly likes him too - she fears hurting him because she views herself as a "grenade". And Gus can only be commended for his persistence in telling her he loves her. So when they first kiss I almost cheered and clapped out loud; an echo of the crowd watching them.

Even in the darkest times nearer the end of the story, they connect on such an intellectual, intimate level of understanding that only those two can keep each other smiling and manage to joke and that makes their story all the more heartbreaking but even more perfect.

I couldn't help but fall in love with their relationship and wanted so badly for the ending to be a happier one. But even though it wasn't, it was beautiful. Gus' eulogy for Hazel showed his love for her and maintained his happy, keep-you-smiling character to the very end.

And with the very last words of the book being Hazel's - "I do Augustus. I do." - I felt the determination, love and strength coming from them and although it wasn't the ending I was wishing for, it was the best ending John Green could have given his fantastic 'The Fault In Our Stars'. 

I'm going to end my review here for two reasons:

1. I don't want to spoil too much if any of you haven't got around to reading or seeing this incredible tale yet - you really need too!
2. Although I didn't actually cry while reading, while I wrote this review (and when I did a live review on air at Siren.FM I cried, because I'd had more time to take in the events and the full beauty and heartbreak overwhelmed me so I am unable to continue.

Until the next time,

                                Jess x

I'm back!

Hello!

I'm very aware of the fact that I haven't blogged for AGESSSS and for that I apologise, but I feel like the past few months have been very, very busy!

The last few months of university were extremely jam-packed with assignments and exam revision followed by the very nerve-wrecking exams themselves. Then I had to wait till July 9th before I knew whether I'd be resitting...

In between then, the No Adults Allowed show I present really took off! I've got new features, I got involved in our NAA cinema club reviewing Maleficent (which just for the record is an amazing must-see film!) and I am currently writing our first NAA radioplay, which will be aired in September! I also interviewed Sochi Olympic medalist Jade Etherington live at the Lincolnshire show, which was an absolutely fabulous experience and one I'll never forget. She is a lovely lady and an inspiration! Siren FM has certainly taken up a lot of my time.

Harry (work experience) and I interviewing nature expert Luke Devin

I've also spent a weekend at the end of June at Center Parcs for the first time ever which was very enjoyable and a lovely way to spend having been together a year with my special guy! And just last week I was in Pentewan in Cornwall for my family holiday which was just a lovely! The sea was crystal clear even way out of depth and it was perfect sunshine all week; plus the Eden Project is fantastic!

Plus the speed with which I got a paid Friday-Saturday job was crazy! Early April, I decided to hand some CVs out in my local area as I was coming up blank during online searches. That night I had a phonecall; the manager of one place wanted an interview the very next day! When I arrived, I discovered it wasn't even a proper interview; they described the job, checked what hours I could and if I was happy with what I would be doing and asked if I could start that Friday! I accepted and haven't regretted my decision yet! Everyone I work with are very kind and we always have a great laugh.

So, my exam results? Was I going to have to resit? Could I make it onto Year Two of English and Journalism?

Well, I'm over the moon to say that all my efforts did me proud and I got straight onto next year at university, no resits, no agony! It was honestly probably one of the most relieving moments of my life!

So its definitely been a very busy few months for me! But I'll try keep up blogging; in fact my next blog will be about 'The Fault In Our Stars' (the book).

Till the next time,
                             Jess x

Being 'Good Enough'

Hello again!

So today I'm talking about a phrase we're all familiar with - being "good enough".

Taken in a more general way, you could look at it within society. However, we all live in very different societies so how can we define who is "good enough"? I'll take the society that I live in to expand.

I guess being "good enough" in my society would be conforming to all of said society's expectations; e.g. go to university, get a good job, get married, have children, obey the law - basically be a good citizen. But not everybody conforms to these expectations, for example people on benefits, those who choose not to go to university and instead do an apprenticeship or something else or those who disobey the law. But why should that mean they aren't good enough? Why should people conform to society's expectations? Expectations which are, quite frankly, expanding into more unrealistic and demanding values. There's a mantra-like quote I've seen recently posted on various social networking sites:

And honestly, I think its absolutely true of the majority of people in society. But why should that mean that they're "good enough" and those that don't follow this aren't??

Looking at this more specifically, many of my lectures in Journalism recently have been repeating the need for extensive work experience in journalism; and I absolutely agree that it is necessary and vital to have if one wants a job/career in journalism, which is an extremely competitive and difficult area of work. What I don't agree with though, is at the end of a presentation given by a guest speaker, he said "You have to be good enough to get a job in journalism". This really annoyed me.

Why?

There are so many people out there who feel they simply aren't good enough when most likely they are! I myself often go through periods where I feel like I'm failing at everything and feel that I'll never be good enough to be a radio journalist/presenter. And therefore, to hear the term "You HAVE to be GOOD ENOUGH" is the most discouraging, terrifying statement I've ever heard in my life.

So, in conclusion, I feel we should, as an entire society - every society in fact - should stop throwing around the term "good enough". While it may encourage some people, I feel that its main effect is one of discouragemen. So many people struggle to get employment and when they don't get work they become disheartened and don't feel "good enough" and get told they need to be "better" or have "better qualities/skills" to get a job. Wars have started before because groups of people believe they're "better" than others; but what gives them the right to decide their group of people are "good enough" to live but another group aren't? So basically, stop saying "good enough" and stop judging people by that term!

Rant over.

Thanks :)

Personal Inspirations

Hello again!

So today I'm talking about my personal inspirations, or rather inspiration. I have so many, both celebrity and personal but there's one very special girl who inspires me.

Now two of my biggest personal inspirations are my parents. They always give me the best advice no matter the problem, they're always there for me and for each other and the rest of the family; I couldn't have asked for better role-models or inspirations. In fact much of my family are inspirations, they're all incredibly strong, caring people. But today I'm talking about one in particular.

Lauren. She's my adoptive auntie, but being closer to my age I see her more as another cousin. She's lived with my grandad and nanny since she was a baby; they took on many foster children before my nanny died, but Lauren is their longest term and still lives with my grandad now.

Now Lauren has multiple disabilities, I don't think I even know all of them but just a few are; autism, blindness (only one eye has partial sight) and issues with walking. When she was just 5 years old, several doctors told our family Lauren, if she lived, would never walk, talk, write or do anything a normal child and growing person can.

And here's why she's so inspirational to me.

Can't walk? She walks, runs and dances! She absolutely loves dancing! Sure it tires her after a while, she can't walk long distances but she's proved the doctors wrong there.

Can't talk? More like struggle to stop her talking! And her hearing is so good, that even with her sat in another room and listening to music, she hears your entire conversation from a couple of rooms away! Nothing gets past Lauren!

Can't write? Her writing may be similar to that of a young child but:

(She signed her name; 16th birthday card)

Might not live? Lauren is now 20 years old. She's planning her future and sure she'll never be out of care, but she's going to have a wonderful life.

I've lived my entire life growing up with Lauren and she, to me, is one of the most inspirational people in my life. She is family to me. And I'm so proud of how wrong she proved those doctors to be! It just goes to show that if you try, you can prove bad judgments about you wrong.

Until the next time,
                             Jess x

University Life!

Hello again!

Unlike most university students, I haven't moved to Lincoln from anywhere, I'm a Lincoln girl born and bred. Having decided Lincoln University had the best English and Journalism course for me (out of only four universities in the country offering English - both literature and language -  and Journalism course!) I consequently decided that it would be easiest for me to live at home.

What's home?
Home for me is this:

Living at home I find myself mainly shut away in my room, doing university work of some kind; usually reading. Each day at uni I'll hear more tales of wild nights out, arguments and fun in flats and coping of being away from home from my fellow students. This for me is a MASSIVE con; I feel like I'm missing out on so much, how much of a normal university life am I living? Should I be missing more lectures due to hangovers? Should I be going out most nights only to wake up the next morning and remember barely anything?

However there are some MASSIVE pros to living at home:

• I don't get homesick (although I do get sick of home!)
• I get my meals, ironing, washing etc done for me...although I do help out sometimes, I'm not totally incapable!
• After paying just £15 rent and £10.50 bus money to get to uni, I have £!8.50 a week left over for myself, plus I got an extra bursary so I'm not doing too bad for money

As well as accommodation being a huge part of university life, the workload is. All those university talks about how different the workload and its amount is compared to sixth form certainly weren't lies! And when you have about four deadlines in the same week (not to mention about two books to read for the same week) it gets really stressful! In fact, I don't understand how on-campus students can have this crazy nights out on most  weeknights and still pass their assignments when I barely go out and do university work a lot of time only to feel like I'm going to fail (this is paranoia; my grades so far have been pleasing). 

Despite my qualms I think I did make the right decision in going to uni. My favourite part are probably the seminars; sitting in a room of intelligent, often like-minded people, discussing set texts and debating or adding to our thoughts on them is an environment I feel I thrive in!

Until the next time,
A proud University of Lincoln student :)